I am not defeated but I often tell myself I am or will be. I seem to be wandering into a place in life where there’s more and more victory mainly because of love and openness with other human beings.
A dear friend who I haven’t seen in four years is coming to visit me this week. I had thought I was going to have to work Saturday while she was here. The managers tried all they could to get the time off for me but it seemed impossible. Despite the apparent odds, I began a quest to find someone to take the shift from me so I could have a much needed mini-holiday AND time with my friend. I assumed I would fail and had already accepted defeat because it seemed all avenues had been tried to no avail, but then someone came through for me and decided to take the shift. When this happened my managers and I all cheered. It was a shared victory. Everyone knew I was willing to take the shift and work it with a smile if need be but I was trying hard to find a way to spnd the time with my friend instead and the victory in the end was a group victory and not just my own. That made it all the better. This experience, and others like it recently, have taught me something.
Especially during the last couple of years, I have tended to approach life with this attitude of defeat, assuming I will fail either because I have before or just because I lack confidence or am fearful. It’s interesting to have a few occasions back to back where I have succeeded and found mini victories in the face of assuming failure or defeat, often when working with others who are able to help me shine or reach my goal. It shows me that I can suceed. I can be blessed. I can find joy in rallying people together for a good cause. It also shows me the truth that speaking your desires and still living in joy regardless of the outcome really does enact something in the spiritual realm. It’s amazing.
I rode home on the bus, in the dark gloomy rain, with a smile on my face. It was a smile that welled up from deep within, a smile born from love and knowledge that things are working in my favour and that some of the favour came from me putting myself out there and not staying on my own in the dark.
We should not wait and simply expect greatness and great things. We should move with boldness and kindness and dedication. And maybe, just maybe we’ll get to win and have people around us to join in the cheer.


They always said the truth will set you free, but I didn’t feel free. I was caught, trapped, surrounded by guilt and shame…