love and healing and dreaming

Sometimes it is so easy to dream. You feel free, open, and enegetic.

Othertimes you feel tired, worn out and if not captive just not entirely able to release your dreaming.

The other day I started to cry, lying on the floor with arms out tears flowing and words spilling out. Confessions and shadows and things in myself I wish I could evict. But in that moment God reminded me of the fence and the things we’ve been working on in my heart.

We tore down the fence. I let Him in and now there’s no going back. Now if I rebuild the fence He’s got permission to destroy it. And all the things I held in that prison sanctuary are up for grabs and up for destroying and being brought to the light. It’s a scary thing when you realise that by asking for healing you have opened the wound.

Today I am not energetic. I don’t feel free but I know that I am free. I know that even when I tired His life and love can push me to greater things and places than I can imagine. I should be free to dream. I am always free because of Him.

If only I would let my humanness stay a gift and not keep seeing it as a curse. How we twist things and damage ourselves!!

His love is so simple and so vast and huge it’s easy to forget it because we cannot compute it, and it’s so desperately important that we don’t forget or dismiss it. Love fuels everything. Love is everything. I need more, Lord.

~ by tardistraveler on June 30, 2009.