Tag Archive

I’m not sure how to describe how I feel right now. Everything is mad. But brilliant at the same time. God is doing amazingly cool, crazy-awesome things. And the devil is not happy. Which, really, is quite brilliant. Except that at the moment I feel rather spastic. Frantic.

I have such hope of things to come. I am dreaming up/and of the impossible as if it all were possible and speaking words I didn’t think I’d be able to speak… words that spill out from somewhere deep inside me, words which are wise and surprise me.

I’m currently working on a script to enter into the BBC’s Sharps contest (a search for new TV drama writing talent) in hopes of getting one of 20 spots for a workshop in the Summer (which could lead to one of 8 week long placements). I am really hopeful and excited, so much so that my head is spinning.

It’s like I am overstimulated, oversaturated… overloaded and overbusy.

But I am thankful.

Because this is my life. And I am who I want to be (mostly… I’m getting there). I am where I want to be. And I am closer than I have ever been to my God, my Lord, my King. I am becoming. I am emerging. And though I may burst into pink confetti, everything will be okay. Even better. It’ll be fantastic!

But if you pray, please do pray for protection, peace, continued financial provision and perseverence (4 p’s!) for me right now.

Process

I am building a railroad track,
laying it down.
I am lifting and heaving
and driving in spikes.
It’s a process,
a slow process.
Slow and steady.
But I have this feeling…
I will not finish.
I have this feeling
the train will come
sooner than I think,
and it will fly
right off the end
and go on it’s own.
Soaring.
A magic train
to an unfathomable destination
even greater,
and more surprising
than I can imagine.
I am building a railroad track,
laying it down.

I was awoken at 3am by a disturbing dream involving an actress named Billie Piper. At first I wondered whether the dream was a result of some sort of attack, but the dream did not instill fear in me. When I awoke I felt strongly that God was telling me to pray for Billie and to get others to pray. So I did.

The day continued like that with YWAM Scotland prayer day. We prayed for her, for our friends and loved ones, and for each other. There was this strong sense of the spirit of God hovering, being present with us, really speaking and revealing.

I had this image of laying down tracks, railroad tracks. And God said “you are on the right track.” There was lots of talk of things to come and healing to come and big things that are daunting to me to think of. It was a day of encouragement, of hope, of… curiousity and focus on God’s power and wonders.

And it began with a dream that sparked me to pray for a stranger.

Sometimes, lately, I think my future may be more surprising and more amazing than I think.

And when I think that I realize… I have changed.

I am beginning to live in hope. I am beginning to hope not just for little things but for the impossible. And my hope is defiant and wild and strong.

Yes, Lord. Yes.

He brought me out of Egypt to the promised land.

And it really is the promised land.

No, I don’t know how things will really turn out. But I have more faith, more hope, more trust and joy than I could have thought possible.

And I am discovering that even the things I love, the passions I have, they are expanding too, along with the faith and trust and hope.

There’s more to me, too. I don’t JUST want to write (I will write, I must write, but I want to do more too).

I want to see people reach their true potential. I want to see people rise from the dust of their lives and face the sun, face the truth of who they are, the best of themselves. I want to see the world changed by people waking up and being emboldened to live gloriously, unselfishly, not settling for ordinary but fighting for extraordinary and positive change.

Maybe I’m just a dreamer.

But it’s a lovely dream. Don’t you think?

And whispers of promise flitting about like fireflies, giddy and eager to unveil a long hidden secret.

My brain is so full. I am full of ideas and wonders and thoughts. But it isn’t bad. There isn’t negativity there, for once there is just fullness and this revelation that life really is on the edge for me, and that the pathway, though seeming to be hidden, falls right under my feet on the open sky. I am so free and trusted and hoped for and my hopes can be laid out as my feet… into the wide open without fear of falling.

Cos it is true, you know? I’ve been out here on this sky-way for months, maybe years… and I am still walking. My foundation is not on the earth, or under the earth, or in a rope or a plane or something man-made but in Christ who is a light and whose words spoke the earth into being.

He who makes wonder from dust is a true artist indeed.

I choose to trust and believe and continue to walk on the open sky without fear of failure or deferral or falling. Because He has promised me desire fulfilled if I but walk and push forward with my dreams. He has promised to sustain my life.

And I trust Him.

I made it safely back to Edinburgh thanks to Molly and Hannah who escorted me and helped with my heavy luggage (THANK YOU!). We had chocolate soup, wandered the Mile, and played at the Museum of Childhood (paper fortunes: “I see a man in a blue box”). Heehee!

Twas a good, if wet, day. I am really happy to be back in Edinburgh, though my spirit is kinda butterfly-fluttery and definitely feeling strange about the fact that DTS is really over and I don’t know when I will see those girls, who became like sisters to me, again. Doesn’t feel real yet. Feels like I’m just having a long weekend or something. I am so thankful for everything that has happened and how I have grown and my perspective has  changed, etc etc. Life is good.

Praying and writing and working is starting already. It’s good. And I’m excited to see what comes next. Good things. Good, good things from a good God. Yep.